Truth? Why not?

I have a question. Why do so many people lie, cheat, and steal?

Really, tell me why. I don't understand. Did no one teach them to be honest when they were children? Have they never learned that bad actions have worse consequences? Are they truly so self-absorbed that they don't care how they affect the rest of us?

I grew up in an honest family. My parents ingrained that value in me from an early age, both by words and by their own actions. I expected others to be honest. I wasn't truly disappointed in this until I became a teacher.

There were times when I wondered if some of my students had been abandoned at an early age and left to raise themselves. Some told lies easily, even transparent lies. Many tried to cheat on tests, and nearly all of my students tried plagiarizing reports and copying homework from their friends. And I don't want to talk about theft. Teachers knew we couldn't leave our purses in the classroom. Even if they were locked in our desks, a few students knew how to get past locks. Even worse, they were happy to tell others about their prowess. My own children learned how to pick locks--though they were severely warned never to use their new-found skill.

Dishonesty is one reason--a very large reason, actually--why I will never teach anyone below the college level again. Dishonesty does not exist only in the classroom, of course. Several months ago I woke up one morning to find my laptop, cell phone, and $200 (which had been in my purse) missing. I asked my son to call the police because I was too upset. Nothing was ever solved or recovered. Thefts occured on a daily basis, the typical loot being laptops, cell phones, and cash. The police were too busy to care.

Of course, the lack of honesty extends to the highest levels of government. We expect politicians to lie to us, and are amazed when they consistently tell the truth. Their lies have cost lives.

But telling the truth is much easier than lying. I think everyone should try it.

What is Truth?

According to a well-known Bible verse, Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life."

So what is truth?

For a Christian, that answer is easy. Jesus is the truth. But what about the rest of us?

This is where examination of the source comes in. As a Muslim, do I believe any part of the Bible? Can I pick and choose? What are my criterion? How do I reconcile this verse with what I believe to be true?

And is truth objective? Is there a universal truth which will ultimately be recognized by all? Or is truth subjective, as many would contend? Does your truth differ from my truth because of our individual experiences?

So many more questions than answers. Defining truth is a very difficult undetaking.

Truth

"It is He who created the heavens and the earth in true (proportions): the day He saith, 'Be,' behold! it is. His word is the truth. His will be the dominion the day the trumpet will be blown. He knoweth the unseen as well as that which is open. For He is the Wise, well acquainted (with all things). "

In 1979 I picked up a paperback copy of the Qur'an, in English translation of course, at a local bookstore. I was a student of religion and I intended to find the errors. This verse spoke to me. Eighteen months later I converted.

What is truth? It's the eternal question, especially for philosophers and philosophy majors ( like me). I could discuss this question for hours and walk away scratching my head.

When I found Islam, I believe I found the truth. Others would disagree.

In the twenty-six years since my conversion, I have continued to struggle to separate truth from falsehood. It's a daily challenge.

Family Times

I was looking through some old pictures this evening. When my husband and I were married. When our children were small. When we were young.

The moments are gone. All we have are photographed memories to supplement those in our minds. And we have the stories. All families have stories.

It seems strange to look at my three oldest when they were tiny. Now they are all in their twenties. They're men. And the bond we nurtured when they were small now maintain our relationship, keeping us close.

We don't need the photographs. Not really. We have the memories. And we have a common language, a common history. These are stronger than pieces of paper. These will last throughout our lives.

The greatest part of our family story isn't the past, but the present and the hopes for a future together.

Defining Family

When I was young, a family was a mother, a father, and their two or three children. That traditional definition has been severely challenged over the last twenty years. What about single parents? What about people raising their grandchildren? There are many other examples.

I looked to see how our "greatest minds" defined the family. My favorite definition comes from Ogden Nash:

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

I think that sums it up very nicely.

Parents

"Honor thy father and thy mother, that it may be well for thee and thou mayest live long on the earth." I memorized this, the fourth commandment according to Martin Luther, when I was in grade school. We made cute art projects for Mother's Day and Father's Day in order to show our honor.

"Paradise is at the feet of the mother." This was a saying of Muhammad. I heard it many years ago, and I still have a hard time getting my mind around it. Picture a young child, though, holding on to his mother's skirt or cuddling safe in her mother's arms. That is paradise.

We grow up and often forget about the warm fuzzy feelings we had for our parents. We become involved in raising our own children. Our parents are old. We're busy. We send cards and flowers for Mother's Day and Father's Day.

It is so very easy to lose sight of what is most important.

Family Peace

Peace in the family is always a good place to start. As the mother of six, I strongly believe that the home, more than any other influence, shapes the child. Not to say that my kids haven't been affected by other sources. They have. Kids are.

Islam has strict guidelines for family living. One of the strangest, for this day and age, is the strong emphasis put upon obedience to parents. In many Muslim families, the parents dictate what their children will study in college and even whom they will marry (though, in strict Islamic teaching, the parent cannot force a son or daughter to marry).

My boys feel conflicted sometimes on this point. They've been raised in a country where children make their own choices, sometimes even as early as 14 or 16. But they follow a religion which dictates obedience. So far, they've been able to peacefully resolve every conflict between these two very different cultures.

Not only must children obey their parents, but wives must obey their husbands. Most Americans will scream at this concept. When I first heard it, as a new Muslim, I was taken aback. But it makes sense. In any setting, someone must be in charge. Women--mothers--have so many obligations. There are times, such as in late pregnancy and after childbirth, when we're nearly incapitated. (Forget about all those stories of women giving birth in the fields. I think they must be fairy tales.) And the way I explain it to my grown sons, tongue firmly in cheek, is that women already do so much work so the men have to do something! For the record, my husband has never been a dictator. A good Muslim husband respects his wife, he doesn't enslave her.

In a nutshell, that's what Islam says about the family. A few simple rules which provide guidelines and structure. For the rest of this week I'll be looking at different aspects of the modern American family.

BTW, do you know what your children are doing?