I grew up in a culture which promoted it. My parents did also, so by the time I went to college in the carefree days of the 70s I had internalized it.
Moral restraint was the enemy in those days. Sexual freedom was encouraged, replacing the ancient standards of earlier generations. From George Carlin's take on dirty words to the new movie-rating system, moral barriers were being challenged. They fell one by one.
Islam promotes moral restraint, and parents who are raising Muslim children are often seen as dinosaurs from a repressive and long-forgotten era. No dating. No alcohol or drugs. Some Muslim parents don't allow TVs in their home and won't let their children see movies or listen to music.
It's hard for the children, of course, to grow up in homes so different from the American norm. Some conform. Others rebel. I think the reaction has more to do with the personality of the child than with the success of the parents.
Ramadan is a time of special restraints. No marital relations from dawn to sunset--pre-marital and extra-marital relations are never allowed. Many families turn off the TVs. Some Muslim families may go to the movies during Ramadan, but I've never met any.
I understand moral restraint because it was part of my childhood. The rules of Islam don't seem so strange to me. It is definitely harder for the younger generation. But they learn. And later, when they're grown, they appreciate the discipline.
Muhammad advised Muslims to be in this world as if you are strangers. I know we do seem very strange. But there's nothing wrong with that.
I just wish mainstream American society still followed the values of my childhood.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Government Restraint
Iran does not allow the open practice of homosexuality. Neither does any other Islamic society I know of. No religious society has, in the past, condoned this. But let's not forget about Iran. This country is being villified for that stance, among others.
We forget that there is government restraint in the U.S. of A. also. I don't have to mention the recent tasering incidents. What about the bill passed by Congress today? In spite of overwhelming problems, both domestic and foreign, Congress took the time to formally censure MoveOn for their ad attacking the policies of General Petraeus. What will happen if Congress allows newspaper ads to run amok? Imagine the chaos.
The report on homosexuality in Iran noted that conversations there are tapped by the government. So are conversations here. Yesterday I read about the ability of the FBI to listen in through a cell phone even if it has been turned off. That sounds very familiar to me. Where did I read about something like that? Was it 1984?
The best government, I believe, is the government which restrains little. Moral lines must be drawn, of course, though these days it's hard to know where to draw them. Freedom of speech, freedom of the press, freedom of religion, freedom of assembly, and freedom to petition the government--these are the freedoms which are innate and inviolable.
I have really heard enough of the pot calling the kettle black. Maybe it's time to step back and rethink the rhetoric.
We forget that there is government restraint in the U.S. of A. also. I don't have to mention the recent tasering incidents. What about the bill passed by Congress today? In spite of overwhelming problems, both domestic and foreign, Congress took the time to formally censure MoveOn for their ad attacking the policies of General Petraeus. What will happen if Congress allows newspaper ads to run amok? Imagine the chaos.
The report on homosexuality in Iran noted that conversations there are tapped by the government. So are conversations here. Yesterday I read about the ability of the FBI to listen in through a cell phone even if it has been turned off. That sounds very familiar to me. Where did I read about something like that? Was it 1984?
The best government, I believe, is the government which restrains little. Moral lines must be drawn, of course, though these days it's hard to know where to draw them. Freedom of speech, freedom of the press, freedom of religion, freedom of assembly, and freedom to petition the government--these are the freedoms which are innate and inviolable.
I have really heard enough of the pot calling the kettle black. Maybe it's time to step back and rethink the rhetoric.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
National Restraint
As of Sunday, I will have been a Muslim for 28 years (on the lunar calendar--a little over 27 years on the solar calendar). Maybe that's why I can't understand what's happening to my country.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the elected president of Iran, has come to visit the U.S. on official business. Throughout his visit, from the White House to Columbia University to the late night talk shows, he has been villified and demonized. I don't understand. No matter how much we Americans may disagree with him, he is still our guest.
In Muslim culture, the guest has many rights over the host. Even a guest the host is not fond of should be treated with respect. I'd forgotten that there were people who didn't think this way.
As I said yesterday, I am embarrassed. We pretend to be a civilized nation, capable of leading the world. But we fail to show simple basic good manners. One Iranian citizen has said this proves that Americans are still cowboys. I can't fault him for thinking that way.
Where is our dignity? Where is our restraint? Is there nothing left?
I was born during the Eisenhower administration. I was in grade school when President Kennedy was assassinated. For those first seven years of my life, I witnessed a country of graciousness. Those seven years were enough to teach me how people should live.
I thank God that our current administration wasn't in charge during the Cuban missile crisis. Because the president at that time was a wise and thoughtful man, I had the chance to grow up.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the elected president of Iran, has come to visit the U.S. on official business. Throughout his visit, from the White House to Columbia University to the late night talk shows, he has been villified and demonized. I don't understand. No matter how much we Americans may disagree with him, he is still our guest.
In Muslim culture, the guest has many rights over the host. Even a guest the host is not fond of should be treated with respect. I'd forgotten that there were people who didn't think this way.
As I said yesterday, I am embarrassed. We pretend to be a civilized nation, capable of leading the world. But we fail to show simple basic good manners. One Iranian citizen has said this proves that Americans are still cowboys. I can't fault him for thinking that way.
Where is our dignity? Where is our restraint? Is there nothing left?
I was born during the Eisenhower administration. I was in grade school when President Kennedy was assassinated. For those first seven years of my life, I witnessed a country of graciousness. Those seven years were enough to teach me how people should live.
I thank God that our current administration wasn't in charge during the Cuban missile crisis. Because the president at that time was a wise and thoughtful man, I had the chance to grow up.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Embarrassed by Lack of Restraint
I was embarrassed to be an American today. Mahmoud Ahmedinejad was a visiting head of state and deserved to be treated with respect. The comments of the president of Columbia University were by far the worst, though they were supported by an inflammatory headline and a large demonstration.
Americans have often done a good job of demonizing the "other." From Kaiser Wilhelm, who allegedly ate babies, to Saddam Hussein, whose soldiers allegedly knocked over incubators (this story was later shown to be false), we turn our enemies into evil incarnate. It's hard to make my fellow citizens stop thinking in terms of black and white--and in this they are always aided by a rabid media.
Amid all the hysteria and hype over today's visit by the president of Iran, I was happy to find some words of wisdom and restraint. This quote is from Rabbi Weiss:
"It is always our pleasure to visit with President Ahmadinejad. This will be the third such meeting, in addition to our many visits to Iran in the past. We have each time emphasized to the Iranian leadership that, despite media hysteria and the statements of some misinformed Jews, we have found the Iranian people and their leaders to be friendly and respectful.
"Likewise, although we as Jews are not to be involved in politics, (According to Jewish law, Jewish people are required to be loyal citizens to the countries wherein they reside), We have found the Iranian President to be a deeply religious man, dedicated to a peaceful world, based on mutual respect, fairness and dialogue.
"Judaism seeks peace. Unfortunately, there are some Jews today, influenced by the barely century old, philosophy of Zionism, who feel that the proper Jewish response to enemies, be they real or fantasized, is aggression and calls for violence and unfortunately attempts to drag other nations down the path of war.
"It is sad that so few have actually attempted to speak to the Iranian President or seek the true opinion of Iranian Jewry who live in peace and practice their faith throughout that nation. We have met this man who has demonstrated time and again that he is sincerely interested in the well being of Iran's Jewish community and has deep respect for world Jewry and their Torah faith, The Zionist attempt to socially isolate this man and his people is immoral and disastrous.
"Zionism is antithetical to Torah beliefs. It believes in creating our own sovereign entity which is expressly forbidden due to the Divine decree of exile. This ideology leads to aggression against nations and is incarnated in the State of 'Israel.' This State continually oppresses other people in the name of Judaism and the entire Jewish people. This movement has exacerbated anti Semitism throughout the world. President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad understands this distinction between traditional Judaism and Zionist distortion.
"We view our approach to Iran as a model for all Jews and all mankind. The Torah is the Almighty's blueprint of mercy and justice for all creation. We have followed this modal in our dealings with the Iranian President and found in him an individual dedicated to these same ideals. There is much to be gained by talking and listening and everything to be lost by raising the rhetoric in the direction of war. The grave tragedy of our era is the inordinate power garnered by Zionism, whose acceptance of force as the only means to reconcile conflicts, has influenced some to abandon Torah fundamentals. We hope and pray that they too will adopt the traditional Jewish approach of dialogue, respect and reconciliation.
"War is a horrible thing. The dark clouds of a future conflict are now on the horizon in the Middle East. Torah Jewry hopes and prays that this may yet be averted."
I know there are Muslims who will object to me quoting a Jew--any Jew. That's their problem. We need to get past these sandbox disputes and start to really listen to one another.
Americans have often done a good job of demonizing the "other." From Kaiser Wilhelm, who allegedly ate babies, to Saddam Hussein, whose soldiers allegedly knocked over incubators (this story was later shown to be false), we turn our enemies into evil incarnate. It's hard to make my fellow citizens stop thinking in terms of black and white--and in this they are always aided by a rabid media.
Amid all the hysteria and hype over today's visit by the president of Iran, I was happy to find some words of wisdom and restraint. This quote is from Rabbi Weiss:
"It is always our pleasure to visit with President Ahmadinejad. This will be the third such meeting, in addition to our many visits to Iran in the past. We have each time emphasized to the Iranian leadership that, despite media hysteria and the statements of some misinformed Jews, we have found the Iranian people and their leaders to be friendly and respectful.
"Likewise, although we as Jews are not to be involved in politics, (According to Jewish law, Jewish people are required to be loyal citizens to the countries wherein they reside), We have found the Iranian President to be a deeply religious man, dedicated to a peaceful world, based on mutual respect, fairness and dialogue.
"Judaism seeks peace. Unfortunately, there are some Jews today, influenced by the barely century old, philosophy of Zionism, who feel that the proper Jewish response to enemies, be they real or fantasized, is aggression and calls for violence and unfortunately attempts to drag other nations down the path of war.
"It is sad that so few have actually attempted to speak to the Iranian President or seek the true opinion of Iranian Jewry who live in peace and practice their faith throughout that nation. We have met this man who has demonstrated time and again that he is sincerely interested in the well being of Iran's Jewish community and has deep respect for world Jewry and their Torah faith, The Zionist attempt to socially isolate this man and his people is immoral and disastrous.
"Zionism is antithetical to Torah beliefs. It believes in creating our own sovereign entity which is expressly forbidden due to the Divine decree of exile. This ideology leads to aggression against nations and is incarnated in the State of 'Israel.' This State continually oppresses other people in the name of Judaism and the entire Jewish people. This movement has exacerbated anti Semitism throughout the world. President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad understands this distinction between traditional Judaism and Zionist distortion.
"We view our approach to Iran as a model for all Jews and all mankind. The Torah is the Almighty's blueprint of mercy and justice for all creation. We have followed this modal in our dealings with the Iranian President and found in him an individual dedicated to these same ideals. There is much to be gained by talking and listening and everything to be lost by raising the rhetoric in the direction of war. The grave tragedy of our era is the inordinate power garnered by Zionism, whose acceptance of force as the only means to reconcile conflicts, has influenced some to abandon Torah fundamentals. We hope and pray that they too will adopt the traditional Jewish approach of dialogue, respect and reconciliation.
"War is a horrible thing. The dark clouds of a future conflict are now on the horizon in the Middle East. Torah Jewry hopes and prays that this may yet be averted."
I know there are Muslims who will object to me quoting a Jew--any Jew. That's their problem. We need to get past these sandbox disputes and start to really listen to one another.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Restraint and "Political Correctness"
Political corectness has taken a bad rap, and for a good reason. Sometimes it works. Too often it's simply an excuse to manipulate others into seeing things your way.
Like with this whole Petraeus blow-up. I agree with the general's detractors, and with all those who oppose the war in Iraq and the rosy picture painted by the administration. I remember a time when political disagreement was not only allowed but expected. Now it's somehow unpatriotic. When did this happen?
Or the decision to bar Ahmedinejad from visiting "Ground Zero." First they complain when Muslims don't seem to care about 9/11--though that has never been true. Then they bar a Muslim leader from caring too much. Isn't there a middle ground?
In this aspect, Muslims definitely have it right. Self-restraint is the best. I can't dictate what you do with your life, and if you're not my kid I don't want the added responsiblity--as long as you're not harming yourself or someone else. You restrain yourself. I'll restrain myself. We'll both mind our own business. The world will be a much more peaceful place.
Like with this whole Petraeus blow-up. I agree with the general's detractors, and with all those who oppose the war in Iraq and the rosy picture painted by the administration. I remember a time when political disagreement was not only allowed but expected. Now it's somehow unpatriotic. When did this happen?
Or the decision to bar Ahmedinejad from visiting "Ground Zero." First they complain when Muslims don't seem to care about 9/11--though that has never been true. Then they bar a Muslim leader from caring too much. Isn't there a middle ground?
In this aspect, Muslims definitely have it right. Self-restraint is the best. I can't dictate what you do with your life, and if you're not my kid I don't want the added responsiblity--as long as you're not harming yourself or someone else. You restrain yourself. I'll restrain myself. We'll both mind our own business. The world will be a much more peaceful place.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
More Imposed Restraint
I planned to discuss self restraint this week, in connection with Ramadan. But imposed restraint keeps rearing its ugly head and cannot be ignored.
In principle, I agree with social restraint. It will never work though. Not in the United States of America. Not unless the lawmakers passed stringest legislation with dire penalties to physically force conformity.
This country is not like others. I lived in Thailand, for instance, where everyone drinks coffee the same way--with heavy cream and sugar. In Thailand, conformity is a way of life. It's easy to convince the populace that it's impolite to point their feet and it's much worse to insult the monarchy. Thai people accept restraint willingly, and often with a gentle smile.
But the U.S. was founded on rugged individualism. This is our heritage. We are descended from hundreds of countries and ethnic groups. Often we are more different than we are alike. And conformity must be imposed, but even that doesn't work. Not really.
I've already discussed the university student who asked the uncomfortable questions. What about the congressman who noted the lobbying power of AIPAC? It's not a secret, but he has been criticized for saying anything about it. If he's not careful, he could lower himself to the ignominy of Jimmy Carter, the former president who believes there can and should be peace in the Middle East. How dare he?
The media can shout and scream and the radio talk show hosts can rant and rave. In the end nothing will be changed. You cannot impose restraint on the American people. Not yet, anyway. Not ever, I hope.
In principle, I agree with social restraint. It will never work though. Not in the United States of America. Not unless the lawmakers passed stringest legislation with dire penalties to physically force conformity.
This country is not like others. I lived in Thailand, for instance, where everyone drinks coffee the same way--with heavy cream and sugar. In Thailand, conformity is a way of life. It's easy to convince the populace that it's impolite to point their feet and it's much worse to insult the monarchy. Thai people accept restraint willingly, and often with a gentle smile.
But the U.S. was founded on rugged individualism. This is our heritage. We are descended from hundreds of countries and ethnic groups. Often we are more different than we are alike. And conformity must be imposed, but even that doesn't work. Not really.
I've already discussed the university student who asked the uncomfortable questions. What about the congressman who noted the lobbying power of AIPAC? It's not a secret, but he has been criticized for saying anything about it. If he's not careful, he could lower himself to the ignominy of Jimmy Carter, the former president who believes there can and should be peace in the Middle East. How dare he?
The media can shout and scream and the radio talk show hosts can rant and rave. In the end nothing will be changed. You cannot impose restraint on the American people. Not yet, anyway. Not ever, I hope.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Holding My Tongue
I've practiced avoiding slander and backbiting, and I'm pretty good at that--not perfect, but not too bad. I've never been a name caller--I was the kid who was called names in grade school--and I don't make a practice of arguing loudly (though, if you ask my kids, they may admit that I'm capable of such a terrible act.) I try to control my tongue. I don't always succeed.
My greatest challenge comes when I see injustice. It's Ramadan, and my husband has told me once already that he only wants to hear about good things this month. He was right, but that was hard. And when I saw that video yesterday it became impossible.
There are rumors floating around (backbiting, anyone?) about the character of Andrew Meyer and whether he deserves any sympathy for being Tazed. That is entirely beside the point. He is a human being who had something to say. If some people think he was annoying, well, so what? Can you imagine arresting people just for being annoying? There wouldn't be anybody left.
The point is that someone's freedom of speech was violated. Freedom of speech is an essential right--an inalienable right--which cannot be or should not be taken away. In the United States of America, people are not to be arrested and electronically shocked simply for stating unpopular opinions. Without the freedom of speech, the USA will become just another police state.
I will restrain my tongue when I need to. I will not accept the right of anyone else to restrain me.
We have freedom of speech in Islam too, by the way. I can choose to backbite, slander and call names. I just have to be ready to live with the consequences, in this life and, most importantly, in the next.
My greatest challenge comes when I see injustice. It's Ramadan, and my husband has told me once already that he only wants to hear about good things this month. He was right, but that was hard. And when I saw that video yesterday it became impossible.
There are rumors floating around (backbiting, anyone?) about the character of Andrew Meyer and whether he deserves any sympathy for being Tazed. That is entirely beside the point. He is a human being who had something to say. If some people think he was annoying, well, so what? Can you imagine arresting people just for being annoying? There wouldn't be anybody left.
The point is that someone's freedom of speech was violated. Freedom of speech is an essential right--an inalienable right--which cannot be or should not be taken away. In the United States of America, people are not to be arrested and electronically shocked simply for stating unpopular opinions. Without the freedom of speech, the USA will become just another police state.
I will restrain my tongue when I need to. I will not accept the right of anyone else to restrain me.
We have freedom of speech in Islam too, by the way. I can choose to backbite, slander and call names. I just have to be ready to live with the consequences, in this life and, most importantly, in the next.
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