Have Patience!

It's been three years now and the war in Iraq is not going well. But you must have patience.

The country of Iraq, which was once a well-functioning society, has been reduced to a war zone. We will rebuild it. We're working on it even as we speak. These things take time. Have patience.

Many civilians have died needlessly. These things happen in a war. It's not our fault. As we train the Iraqi forces to take over and put a democratic government in place, order will descend upon the land. Have patience.

Twenty-three hundred American servicemen and women have been killed. They sacrificed their lives for freedom and democracy. Don't mourn their deaths. Be proud of them. Enlist today so you may follow in their footsteps. One day Iraq will be the promised land. Have patience.

Gas prices are much higher than they were three years ago. That's how the economy works. Inflation, war, so many troubles in the world. You have to learn how to live with it. SUVs are on sale. Hurry while they last. Don't complain. Have patience.

Americans have fewer freedoms. Don't you understand that we are at war? We must be careful. They are watching us, waiting for us to be weak so they can take over and destroy the American way of life. Kindly take off your shoes and open your luggage. Where's your I.D. card? Don't tell me you're in a hurry. Just get into line with everyone else. You'll shut up if you know what's good for you. Have patience.

The president's approval rating has plummeted, but I can't for the life of me understand why. He is working day and night to provide a stronger, safer America. He travels from north to south, east to west, bolstering the troops, selling his propaganda and raising money for essential Republican candidates. He has sacrificed greatly and deserves our undying gratitude. Stop picking on him. Put down the anti-war signs and get in line behind our leader. Don't you know we're at war? If you would only support him, he would be able to solve every problem known to man. But you must have patience.

The next presidential election is more than two years away, and I can only hope it is more fair than the last two. Darkness has descended upon this land. I don't know how much more of this I can take. Lord, give me patience!