Why War?

The greatest assault on life is war. Politicians convince young men, and women, to sacrifice their lives for freedom. Meanwhile the politicians enjoy their lives. Most of the time, they don't send their children.

What does a soldier die for? An abstract ideal? A politician's promise?

Think very carefully. How many wars were truly worth fighting? How many could have been avoided by wiser leaders?

And why are the deaths of "our side" valiant and bittersweet while the deaths of "their side" are just plain necessary?

Life Without Fear

As a baby boomer, I had many advantages over later generations. We were the last children to grow up without fear of dying.

Cars didn't have seat belts. Infant and toddler car seats hadn't been invented. We didn't worry about getting too much sun or an occasional mosquito bite. We played outside until dark--climbing trees, riding bikes (without helmets), playing ball. And if a kid was the last to be picked for a team, well, that's life.

I tell my children to wear seat belts and bike helmets, and most of them rode in car seats (though my youngest screamed from the time he went in until the time I took him out). I obey these rules because they're part of the current wisdom. But sometimes I feel like I'm taking something away from my children.

I just read that elementary schools in several cities have banned the game of tag because some children get upset. My guess is that these are only children, coddled by their parents and possessing little reference to real life. When you grow up with siblings, you learn how to roll with the punches (figuratively speaking--though my boys do wrestle on occasion).

I hated dodgeball. I wasn't fast enough and I was always out first. I wasn't crazy about Red Rover and I was the kid who got picked last for teams. At the time, these things didn't make me happy, but I think they made me stronger. As I grew older, I found other ways--through writing and public speaking--to be a winner.

If children are raised in a completely antiseptic household, their bodies don't learn how to resist bacteria. If children are raised in a completely antiseptic society, their spirits don't learn resilience.

I have spent much of my life teaching and loving children. But I have never coddled them. I value their lives, and I want them to learn as much as they can. They need to live, not just exist.

Thou Shalt Not Kill

Some of the Ten Commandments were difficult for me to understand when I first learned them as a child. Adultery, false witness, and coveting made no sense to me then. But I always understood the commandment I was taught as the Fifth. Don't kill.

It sounds simple enough. I never had murderous intentions toward anyone. Killing is bad, awful, terrible, and just plain wrong. What's to understand?

The problem is in the nuances. Does this commandment refer to abortion or capital punishment? What about war--or can war be justified with the right type of propaganda? How does this apply to mercy killings? Wouldn't it be better to put a sick person out of his misery?

The commandment doesn't deal with these shades of right and wrong. The meaning is clear. Do not kill. Simple enough.

Children have clear vision of such matters, and they can understand. What has happened to the adults?

Valuing Life

“…if any one slew a person - unless it be for murder or for spreading mischief in the land - it would be as if he slew the whole people: and if any one saved a life, it would be as if he saved the life of the whole people." Qur'an 5.32

(First a note. 'Spreading mischief in the land' is akin to inciting rebellion or treason. Serious crimes.)

Muslims believe--at least those Muslims who read and follow the Qur'an--that, as the verse states, killing one person is like killing all humanity. Murder and mayhem are not part of Islam.

That doesn't stop some from committing these acts in the name of Islam. Those who do this are ignorant of the religion or are working for personal motives, even if they claim otherwise.

Three thousand died in the World Trade Center. Hundreds of thousands of Iraqi civilians have been killed. In both instances, the innocents have lost their lives to the selfish motives of others. Just one of those lives equalled the value of humanity.

I am pro-life. I am anti-abortion. I am also anti-war. I often wonder at those who call themselves pro-life and yet continue to support wars.

Life is beyond measure. Ask the father of the one-year old who died at a Gaza checkpoint yesterday. (I can't imagine seeing my child die in my arms.)

And no life is more valuable than any other life. There is no race, citizenship or ethnicity in death.

Acts of Kindness

These are things we never forget. Sometimes it can be as simple as an encouraging word or help with a package.

I was the recipient of a special act of kindness from my mother and sisters last weekend. The thing is, I have food allergies. There are certain types of foods I can eat, and some I won't touch. Recently, one brand of food, which I had eaten for years without problem, changed the ingredients. This particular food was nutritious and had enough calories to keep my weight up. (I want to know why there are never any magazine articles about how to gain weight, but that's another topic altogether.)

The ingredients had been changed very recently--within the last two months. So my mother and sisters set out to find some of the old boxes of this non-perishable food to help me out and tide me over until I could find a suitable alternative. The search included tw.o different states. And by the end of the weekend, they had scrounged up over forty boxes of the old, unaltered variety.

Forty boxes will last me for months. Meanwhile, I'm working to meet these food allergies head on and conquer them. I'm grateful for the extra time.

And I'm very thankful for the kindness and caring of my family.

Kindergarten Lessons

When I was in kindergarten, one of my classmates had a wooden leg. As I remember, it extended up to his knee. He showed it to some of us once. I think someone said he got it in a car accident.

The details are fuzzy--that was over 40 years ago. But I don't remember anyone making fun of him. We knew it wasn't right. Our parents had taught us to be kind.

Sometime in the 80s or 90s, "political correctness" came into being. It started out as a positive idea which sometimes becomes monstrous, eating all in its path. People weren't being kind, so kindness had to be enforced through social sanctions and even the enacting of new laws.

I went to kindergarten in 1961 and we didn't know anything about political correctness. But we knew how to be kind.

I think many of us have grown too big for our britches.

The Least of These

I was poor, I was thirsty, I was homeless, I was sick. You helped me because you helped those who were in these conditions.

This is one of the Biblical stories I learned as child. Helping the needy, rather than turning away from them, brings tremendous rewards. (Excuse me for my very liberal paraphrasing.)

There are many such lessons in the Bible. The Good Samaritan helped a man when others, thought to be higher in social rank, would not. Jesus instructed his followers to "turn the other cheek." He also is reported to have said, "The meek shall inherit the earth."

Being kind isn't always easy. Those who are poor and homeless make us uncomfortable. The sick and disabled remind us of our own frailties. It's easier to just live our own lives and keep walking, like the Pharisees.

But we are expected to help those who have nothing. We aren't kind because we expect a reward. We're kind because kindness is what's right.

Small Kindnesses

There's a chapter in the Qur'an called Small Kindnesses. One of the verses is "Woe to the worshipper."

What? Isn't worship a good thing? Isn't that what gets us into heaven?

The verses continue. "Woe to the worshipper who wishes to be seen by men but forgets small kindnesses." (I'm writing this from memory--the translation may be off by a word or two.)

We all know about that. Pious people who build large mosques or churches while othes starve. Islam doesn't condone this. No religious belief does. Unfortunately, sometimes religious leaders do.

I kept reading online headlines today about the death of Leona Helmsley, who apparently earned the nickname "the queen of mean." What an awful way to be remembered. I'm sure she did good things in her life--she must have--but this is her "eulogy."

My father was nice. He always joked that "nice guys finish last." That's okay. I would rather be poor as long as I'm remembered as being kind.

When Will They Ever Learn?

So, where have all the flowers gone?

(Another cultural reference from a baby boomer, and a powerful one. If you're not sure what I mean, look it up.)

Education and Cultural Context

It's hot here. I hear it got up to 101 today. It's so hot that I feel like I'm in the middle of a Tennessee Williams play.

If I use that reference in my home, I don't think my husband and sons will understand. The boys have studied some literature, but I don't know if they've covered Tennessee Williams. My husband is from southeast Asia and even after many years in the U.S. that's the culture he knows.

Knowledge isn't just a conglomeration of facts and figures. Our experiences, both cultural and personal, add color and depth to our knowledge. Sometimes I like to get down with my fellow baby boomers, you know? We know how to groove and we understand what's happening. And nobody wants to be a square.

The cultural impact on knowledge is seen most often in standardized tests. I've seen it especially in the social studies section, though the pictures for the early elementary students can also be misleading. I remember one question--What is the oldest religion? My Muslim students answered as they were taught. Islam is the oldest religion because it is submission to the Creator. The correct answer, of course, was Hinduism. So when the results were tabulated my students lost one point right there.

We teach as we have been taught. And all of us are teachers. We influence our coworkers, our neighbors, even our friends.

Cultural context is something we need to watch out for. It will help us avoid conflicts and ridiculous arguments over trivial matters.

If we don't we will never speak the same language.

Education and Religion

In many societies, education has been viewed as a religious, or even spiritual, exercise.

This is certainly true in Islam. The first word of the Qur'an, which Muslims believe to have been revealed, is "Read!" Muhammad encouraged people to seek knowledge, if even they had to go to China (and, of course, there were no planes back then).

Religious followers have been accused of blindly and ignorantly stumbling behind their leaders. Many do. But faith is better, and stronger, if it is accompanied by knowledge.

Education

Today was the first day of school here in Lexington. Last week my boys faced the exhilaration of buying new supplies, new clothes, and new shoes. Today they had to face reality.

At the end of the day, both were happy to be home. The first day of school somehow doesn't measure up to the expectations.

Because I was raised in this country, as a youth I didn't value formal education. I loved to read, write, and explore on my own, but the thought of sitting behind a desk failed to thrill me. It wasn't until I met my (future) husband that I thought about what education really means.

He was raised in Thailand where schooling is much more competitive. He craved formal learning. At first I didn't understand that. But in Thailand, as in many other nations, education is not a given. The young person must earn the right to go to school and pass through the different levels.

I've tried to explain all this to my sons. The older ones get it. The younger ones still feel as if they're being tortured by homework and equations. After all, they're Americans.

There has been much talk about educational reform in this country. Standardized testing is definitely not the answer. I know there must be a better way.

(And, personally, I think August 13 is way too early to be going back to school.)

Avoiding Hypocrisy

Muhammad said there are three signs of the hypocrite:

1. When he (she) speaks, he lies.

2. When he (she) makes a promise, he breaks it.

3. When he (she) is given a responsibility (a trust), he betrays the trust.

A true Muslim speaks the truth, keeps promises, and fulfills responsibilities.

I try to remember this daily. Hypocrisy is certainly not something to strive for!

Excuses and Downright Lies

I heard them often when I was a teacher. "My printer ran out of ink." "My computer wouldn't work." "My parents were out visiting people all weekend and they made me come too." "There's no one to take me to the library." It was an Islamic school so there were no dogs available to eat the homework. Usually it was the computer's fault, though sometimes the parents were to blame. Never the student, of course.

It would be nice if this type of behavior were simply an adolescent phase. But my guess is that many of my students had parents who also made excuses. "My car broke down." "The baby was sick." "We had relatives visiting from overseas." As I got to know the families, I could tell which were downright lies. Some--students and parents--chronically lied.

It doesn't stop there, either. Ask someone in Congress why he or she voted for the war against Iraq. Many excuses. Ask someone in the White House why the war was started in the first place. Many lies.

My father was easy going, for the most part, but one of his frequent sayings was "No excuses." That annoyed me when I was young. I've since learned to appreciate his attitude.

Being a responsible adult, or a responsible student, means accepting responsibility for your actions.

No Excuses. (Thanks, Dad.)

Who's Responsible?

The collapse of a major bridge in Minneapolis last week finally made the media, politicians, and American public pay attention to the crumbling infrastructure in this country. Though, I'm sure, most average Americans have already noticed that.

So now there are grand plans to build the Minneapolis bridge in record time. What about the thousands of others throughout this country which are also substandard? Will it take another accident and more lives being lost?

In the 1950s, when I was born and Eisenhower was president, the U.S. had a "can do" attitude. The new national highway system made it possible to drive from coast to coast. "See the U.S.A. in your Chevrolet." Trains played an important role in transporting goods and people. The bridges were new and the country had a spirit of hope which extended into the next decade.

Now people are depressed. The infrastructure is depressed. They tell us that even household pets are depressed. Optimism sprouts like grass through a concrete sidewalk, only to be cut down far too often. There are good things still happening in this country, at the grass roots level. There has been no real good news out of Washington D.C. for a very long time.

So who is responsible? The people? Or the current Republican president who, unlike Eisenhower, destroys rather than builds?

I'm not sure how much more abuse this country can weather.

Taking Responsibility

Responsibility is an essential value among Muslims. We are taught that everyone has something for which he or she is responsible, whether it's the mother who's responsible for her children or the doctor who's responsible for the patients.

Imagine if everyone in a society took his or her responsibility seriously. There would be no neglect of duty. Those who depend on others would not go wanting. Families and institutions would run smoothly.

It's a utopian vision, of course. In reality, family members might be neglected or abused. Students might fail to learn from lazy teachers. Governments might fail to function under self-centered politicians.

But we can always imagine how things should be, and strive for this.

Staying Hopeful

I hope the U.S. pulls the troops out of Iraq sometime during my life time.

I hope Afghanistan finally becomes stabilized, after more than 30 years of political instability and outright war.

I hope the world wakes up to the plight of Palestine.

I hope that, in the future, this country has a president who cares more about infrastructure than about building bombs.

I have many hopes. I can't do anything about the ones I've just listed. They are more like wishes and dreams.

But I also hope my sons all grow up to be good husbands and fathers, and productive members of society.

I hope my grandchildren are raised with manners and morals.

I hope my writing will make a positive impact on those who read my works.

These I can do something about. I have some control. That's what I can work toward.

In terms of the rest. . .I'll keep praying.

Prompted by Hope

Hope causes people to attempt difficult feats.

Someone once said that the most amazing thing about childbirth is that any woman does it more than once. Hope, or maybe a really bad memory, causes the mother to have more children and build up her family.

Hope prompts athletes, students, and (we hope) leaders. Not blind optimism but cautious anticipation of something better.

Hope produces paintings, sculptures, symphonies, and novels. The artist slaves away day after day, usually in solitary, with the goal of reaching and inspiring others.

And hope brings me back to writing my blog every Monday through Thursday. Every day I look anxiously for comments. There are few. But I hope someone is reading and benefitting from my words.

Imagine where the world would be without hope.