As a baby boomer, I had many advantages over later generations. We were the last children to grow up without fear of dying.
Cars didn't have seat belts. Infant and toddler car seats hadn't been invented. We didn't worry about getting too much sun or an occasional mosquito bite. We played outside until dark--climbing trees, riding bikes (without helmets), playing ball. And if a kid was the last to be picked for a team, well, that's life.
I tell my children to wear seat belts and bike helmets, and most of them rode in car seats (though my youngest screamed from the time he went in until the time I took him out). I obey these rules because they're part of the current wisdom. But sometimes I feel like I'm taking something away from my children.
I just read that elementary schools in several cities have banned the game of tag because some children get upset. My guess is that these are only children, coddled by their parents and possessing little reference to real life. When you grow up with siblings, you learn how to roll with the punches (figuratively speaking--though my boys do wrestle on occasion).
I hated dodgeball. I wasn't fast enough and I was always out first. I wasn't crazy about Red Rover and I was the kid who got picked last for teams. At the time, these things didn't make me happy, but I think they made me stronger. As I grew older, I found other ways--through writing and public speaking--to be a winner.
If children are raised in a completely antiseptic household, their bodies don't learn how to resist bacteria. If children are raised in a completely antiseptic society, their spirits don't learn resilience.
I have spent much of my life teaching and loving children. But I have never coddled them. I value their lives, and I want them to learn as much as they can. They need to live, not just exist.
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I was thinking the same thing recently. I live in Jordan, a country with dangerous driving, few good sidewalks, debris in the streets. Yet the native population think nothing of a two year old walking down to the store with his three year old sister to buy chips. I keep my kids in an enclosed yard, bikes only on our own footpaths. Yet I grew up riding my bike all thru the neighborhood in Northern CA. I would run free for hours in the neighborhood and come home for meals. I wonder how you can create the balance for safety as well as that same toughness that we got as kids. Is it just a sign of the times or do we need to develop new ways to impart the old wisdom in today's world?
I don't know.
Is there more danger now or do we just believe there is? Are children more likely to be victimized than they were 20 or 30 years ago? Do more children die in car accidents? Or is that just what we're led to believe?
It's hard to strike a balance. My kids aren't as daring as I was. They're not fearful, but in this age of kidnappings and terrorist attacks they are more careful.
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