"My hopes are not always realized, but I always hope." Ovid
How many hopes and dreams did you have when you were child? Did you want to be famous or rich? Did you imagine yourself surrounded by a loving family? Did you build your dream house in your mind?
How many childhood hopes and dreams came true? Are you working at a dead-end job where even the boss doesn't know your name? Do you come home to a quiet apartment? Are you still stuck in the same house you've lived in for the past thirty years and the roof leaks?
We can hope and plan, but our dreams often don't come true. I wanted to be one of the first female MLB umpires. I wanted to have a farm full of dogs and horses. I imagined myself answering questions on a popular talk show.
I'm a writer, not an umpire. I live in a state full of horses--does that count? I have done small interviews. My childhood hopes haven't turned out as I expected, but I've replaced them with something more practical and attainable.
As long as there is life, there is hope. Always hope.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Monday, July 30, 2007
The Necessity of Hope
Much is being made of the Iraqi soccer victory. Some suggest that this will heal a broken country.
I know soccer is important in many countries of the world, but I doubt it has the power to erase the ravages of war. It's not that potent. The victory does, however, bring hope.
All human beings need hope. Without it, we can cease to function. We need to be able to look for a better day, a better future. We can tolerate brief periods of bleakness, but not an everlasting hopelessness.
Hope can be found on many different levels of life. It may be as simple as seeing a bird or a flower, or seeing a rainbow after a storm. It could be dramatic, such as the arrival of a new baby. Hope happens every day in many different ways. Often we're too busy to recognize the gift.
Soccer can't end a war or stop the suffering of a people. But a victory can bring hope to a people who have been oppressed for many years. And hope can take root.
I know soccer is important in many countries of the world, but I doubt it has the power to erase the ravages of war. It's not that potent. The victory does, however, bring hope.
All human beings need hope. Without it, we can cease to function. We need to be able to look for a better day, a better future. We can tolerate brief periods of bleakness, but not an everlasting hopelessness.
Hope can be found on many different levels of life. It may be as simple as seeing a bird or a flower, or seeing a rainbow after a storm. It could be dramatic, such as the arrival of a new baby. Hope happens every day in many different ways. Often we're too busy to recognize the gift.
Soccer can't end a war or stop the suffering of a people. But a victory can bring hope to a people who have been oppressed for many years. And hope can take root.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Truth, Honesty, Integrity
An honest man's the noblest work of God. Alexander Pope
From Aesop to As the World Turns, stories often revolve around the consequences of deceit. Although lying seems to be expedient, honesty always wins in the end.
That's fine for literature and entertainment. What about real life?
Does the honest man get ahead while the dishonest is justly punished? Or does the dishonest man have more wealth and more power? Is honesty rewarded?
There are the heartwarming stories about a middle schooler or a cabbie returning thousands of dollars of money or goods. Are these the norm or only the exception?
Politicians lie to get elected. Businessmen cheat on their taxes. If these were only stereotypes, we wouldn't have a culture in which young people lie and cheat as well. They learn what they see.
I grew up hearing about the wonderful values of honestry and integrity. Can these be real, or is that just another fable?
From Aesop to As the World Turns, stories often revolve around the consequences of deceit. Although lying seems to be expedient, honesty always wins in the end.
That's fine for literature and entertainment. What about real life?
Does the honest man get ahead while the dishonest is justly punished? Or does the dishonest man have more wealth and more power? Is honesty rewarded?
There are the heartwarming stories about a middle schooler or a cabbie returning thousands of dollars of money or goods. Are these the norm or only the exception?
Politicians lie to get elected. Businessmen cheat on their taxes. If these were only stereotypes, we wouldn't have a culture in which young people lie and cheat as well. They learn what they see.
I grew up hearing about the wonderful values of honestry and integrity. Can these be real, or is that just another fable?
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Truth? Why not?
I have a question. Why do so many people lie, cheat, and steal?
Really, tell me why. I don't understand. Did no one teach them to be honest when they were children? Have they never learned that bad actions have worse consequences? Are they truly so self-absorbed that they don't care how they affect the rest of us?
I grew up in an honest family. My parents ingrained that value in me from an early age, both by words and by their own actions. I expected others to be honest. I wasn't truly disappointed in this until I became a teacher.
There were times when I wondered if some of my students had been abandoned at an early age and left to raise themselves. Some told lies easily, even transparent lies. Many tried to cheat on tests, and nearly all of my students tried plagiarizing reports and copying homework from their friends. And I don't want to talk about theft. Teachers knew we couldn't leave our purses in the classroom. Even if they were locked in our desks, a few students knew how to get past locks. Even worse, they were happy to tell others about their prowess. My own children learned how to pick locks--though they were severely warned never to use their new-found skill.
Dishonesty is one reason--a very large reason, actually--why I will never teach anyone below the college level again. Dishonesty does not exist only in the classroom, of course. Several months ago I woke up one morning to find my laptop, cell phone, and $200 (which had been in my purse) missing. I asked my son to call the police because I was too upset. Nothing was ever solved or recovered. Thefts occured on a daily basis, the typical loot being laptops, cell phones, and cash. The police were too busy to care.
Of course, the lack of honesty extends to the highest levels of government. We expect politicians to lie to us, and are amazed when they consistently tell the truth. Their lies have cost lives.
But telling the truth is much easier than lying. I think everyone should try it.
Really, tell me why. I don't understand. Did no one teach them to be honest when they were children? Have they never learned that bad actions have worse consequences? Are they truly so self-absorbed that they don't care how they affect the rest of us?
I grew up in an honest family. My parents ingrained that value in me from an early age, both by words and by their own actions. I expected others to be honest. I wasn't truly disappointed in this until I became a teacher.
There were times when I wondered if some of my students had been abandoned at an early age and left to raise themselves. Some told lies easily, even transparent lies. Many tried to cheat on tests, and nearly all of my students tried plagiarizing reports and copying homework from their friends. And I don't want to talk about theft. Teachers knew we couldn't leave our purses in the classroom. Even if they were locked in our desks, a few students knew how to get past locks. Even worse, they were happy to tell others about their prowess. My own children learned how to pick locks--though they were severely warned never to use their new-found skill.
Dishonesty is one reason--a very large reason, actually--why I will never teach anyone below the college level again. Dishonesty does not exist only in the classroom, of course. Several months ago I woke up one morning to find my laptop, cell phone, and $200 (which had been in my purse) missing. I asked my son to call the police because I was too upset. Nothing was ever solved or recovered. Thefts occured on a daily basis, the typical loot being laptops, cell phones, and cash. The police were too busy to care.
Of course, the lack of honesty extends to the highest levels of government. We expect politicians to lie to us, and are amazed when they consistently tell the truth. Their lies have cost lives.
But telling the truth is much easier than lying. I think everyone should try it.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
What is Truth?
According to a well-known Bible verse, Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life."
So what is truth?
For a Christian, that answer is easy. Jesus is the truth. But what about the rest of us?
This is where examination of the source comes in. As a Muslim, do I believe any part of the Bible? Can I pick and choose? What are my criterion? How do I reconcile this verse with what I believe to be true?
And is truth objective? Is there a universal truth which will ultimately be recognized by all? Or is truth subjective, as many would contend? Does your truth differ from my truth because of our individual experiences?
So many more questions than answers. Defining truth is a very difficult undetaking.
So what is truth?
For a Christian, that answer is easy. Jesus is the truth. But what about the rest of us?
This is where examination of the source comes in. As a Muslim, do I believe any part of the Bible? Can I pick and choose? What are my criterion? How do I reconcile this verse with what I believe to be true?
And is truth objective? Is there a universal truth which will ultimately be recognized by all? Or is truth subjective, as many would contend? Does your truth differ from my truth because of our individual experiences?
So many more questions than answers. Defining truth is a very difficult undetaking.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Truth
"It is He who created the heavens and the earth in true (proportions): the day He saith, 'Be,' behold! it is. His word is the truth. His will be the dominion the day the trumpet will be blown. He knoweth the unseen as well as that which is open. For He is the Wise, well acquainted (with all things). "
In 1979 I picked up a paperback copy of the Qur'an, in English translation of course, at a local bookstore. I was a student of religion and I intended to find the errors. This verse spoke to me. Eighteen months later I converted.
What is truth? It's the eternal question, especially for philosophers and philosophy majors ( like me). I could discuss this question for hours and walk away scratching my head.
When I found Islam, I believe I found the truth. Others would disagree.
In the twenty-six years since my conversion, I have continued to struggle to separate truth from falsehood. It's a daily challenge.
In 1979 I picked up a paperback copy of the Qur'an, in English translation of course, at a local bookstore. I was a student of religion and I intended to find the errors. This verse spoke to me. Eighteen months later I converted.
What is truth? It's the eternal question, especially for philosophers and philosophy majors ( like me). I could discuss this question for hours and walk away scratching my head.
When I found Islam, I believe I found the truth. Others would disagree.
In the twenty-six years since my conversion, I have continued to struggle to separate truth from falsehood. It's a daily challenge.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Family Times
I was looking through some old pictures this evening. When my husband and I were married. When our children were small. When we were young.
The moments are gone. All we have are photographed memories to supplement those in our minds. And we have the stories. All families have stories.
It seems strange to look at my three oldest when they were tiny. Now they are all in their twenties. They're men. And the bond we nurtured when they were small now maintain our relationship, keeping us close.
We don't need the photographs. Not really. We have the memories. And we have a common language, a common history. These are stronger than pieces of paper. These will last throughout our lives.
The greatest part of our family story isn't the past, but the present and the hopes for a future together.
The moments are gone. All we have are photographed memories to supplement those in our minds. And we have the stories. All families have stories.
It seems strange to look at my three oldest when they were tiny. Now they are all in their twenties. They're men. And the bond we nurtured when they were small now maintain our relationship, keeping us close.
We don't need the photographs. Not really. We have the memories. And we have a common language, a common history. These are stronger than pieces of paper. These will last throughout our lives.
The greatest part of our family story isn't the past, but the present and the hopes for a future together.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Defining Family
When I was young, a family was a mother, a father, and their two or three children. That traditional definition has been severely challenged over the last twenty years. What about single parents? What about people raising their grandchildren? There are many other examples.
I looked to see how our "greatest minds" defined the family. My favorite definition comes from Ogden Nash:
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
I think that sums it up very nicely.
I looked to see how our "greatest minds" defined the family. My favorite definition comes from Ogden Nash:
A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.
I think that sums it up very nicely.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Parents
"Honor thy father and thy mother, that it may be well for thee and thou mayest live long on the earth." I memorized this, the fourth commandment according to Martin Luther, when I was in grade school. We made cute art projects for Mother's Day and Father's Day in order to show our honor.
"Paradise is at the feet of the mother." This was a saying of Muhammad. I heard it many years ago, and I still have a hard time getting my mind around it. Picture a young child, though, holding on to his mother's skirt or cuddling safe in her mother's arms. That is paradise.
We grow up and often forget about the warm fuzzy feelings we had for our parents. We become involved in raising our own children. Our parents are old. We're busy. We send cards and flowers for Mother's Day and Father's Day.
It is so very easy to lose sight of what is most important.
"Paradise is at the feet of the mother." This was a saying of Muhammad. I heard it many years ago, and I still have a hard time getting my mind around it. Picture a young child, though, holding on to his mother's skirt or cuddling safe in her mother's arms. That is paradise.
We grow up and often forget about the warm fuzzy feelings we had for our parents. We become involved in raising our own children. Our parents are old. We're busy. We send cards and flowers for Mother's Day and Father's Day.
It is so very easy to lose sight of what is most important.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Family Peace
Peace in the family is always a good place to start. As the mother of six, I strongly believe that the home, more than any other influence, shapes the child. Not to say that my kids haven't been affected by other sources. They have. Kids are.
Islam has strict guidelines for family living. One of the strangest, for this day and age, is the strong emphasis put upon obedience to parents. In many Muslim families, the parents dictate what their children will study in college and even whom they will marry (though, in strict Islamic teaching, the parent cannot force a son or daughter to marry).
My boys feel conflicted sometimes on this point. They've been raised in a country where children make their own choices, sometimes even as early as 14 or 16. But they follow a religion which dictates obedience. So far, they've been able to peacefully resolve every conflict between these two very different cultures.
Not only must children obey their parents, but wives must obey their husbands. Most Americans will scream at this concept. When I first heard it, as a new Muslim, I was taken aback. But it makes sense. In any setting, someone must be in charge. Women--mothers--have so many obligations. There are times, such as in late pregnancy and after childbirth, when we're nearly incapitated. (Forget about all those stories of women giving birth in the fields. I think they must be fairy tales.) And the way I explain it to my grown sons, tongue firmly in cheek, is that women already do so much work so the men have to do something! For the record, my husband has never been a dictator. A good Muslim husband respects his wife, he doesn't enslave her.
In a nutshell, that's what Islam says about the family. A few simple rules which provide guidelines and structure. For the rest of this week I'll be looking at different aspects of the modern American family.
BTW, do you know what your children are doing?
Islam has strict guidelines for family living. One of the strangest, for this day and age, is the strong emphasis put upon obedience to parents. In many Muslim families, the parents dictate what their children will study in college and even whom they will marry (though, in strict Islamic teaching, the parent cannot force a son or daughter to marry).
My boys feel conflicted sometimes on this point. They've been raised in a country where children make their own choices, sometimes even as early as 14 or 16. But they follow a religion which dictates obedience. So far, they've been able to peacefully resolve every conflict between these two very different cultures.
Not only must children obey their parents, but wives must obey their husbands. Most Americans will scream at this concept. When I first heard it, as a new Muslim, I was taken aback. But it makes sense. In any setting, someone must be in charge. Women--mothers--have so many obligations. There are times, such as in late pregnancy and after childbirth, when we're nearly incapitated. (Forget about all those stories of women giving birth in the fields. I think they must be fairy tales.) And the way I explain it to my grown sons, tongue firmly in cheek, is that women already do so much work so the men have to do something! For the record, my husband has never been a dictator. A good Muslim husband respects his wife, he doesn't enslave her.
In a nutshell, that's what Islam says about the family. A few simple rules which provide guidelines and structure. For the rest of this week I'll be looking at different aspects of the modern American family.
BTW, do you know what your children are doing?
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Peace vs. Unending War
Which would you choose?
The choice seems obvious, but it's not quite that easy. Does peace mean weakness or strength? Should threats to national security be solved through war or negotiation? If we don't negotiate with terrorists, does that limit our choices?
Peace sounds wonderful. But how many of us are willing to do the work? How many will compromise for the sake of harmony? How many will choose education and welfare over defense?
The United States has been primarily a nation at war. Conceived in violent rebellion, this country has had few peaceful years. The period leading up to the Civil War was marred by lesser skirmishes and revolts. The years after World War II were a time of anxiety while the population waited for the seemingly inevitable nuclear war. The five years since 9/11 have been marked by armed conflict overseas and a decrease in civil rights here at home.
Can we do it? Are we able to work for peace?
Peace doesn't just happen. We must prefer it.
___
Tune in on Monday when I begin a new discussion.
The choice seems obvious, but it's not quite that easy. Does peace mean weakness or strength? Should threats to national security be solved through war or negotiation? If we don't negotiate with terrorists, does that limit our choices?
Peace sounds wonderful. But how many of us are willing to do the work? How many will compromise for the sake of harmony? How many will choose education and welfare over defense?
The United States has been primarily a nation at war. Conceived in violent rebellion, this country has had few peaceful years. The period leading up to the Civil War was marred by lesser skirmishes and revolts. The years after World War II were a time of anxiety while the population waited for the seemingly inevitable nuclear war. The five years since 9/11 have been marked by armed conflict overseas and a decrease in civil rights here at home.
Can we do it? Are we able to work for peace?
Peace doesn't just happen. We must prefer it.
___
Tune in on Monday when I begin a new discussion.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Inner Peace
From Buddha to Emerson, the message is the same. True peace comes from within.
Have you ever tried to tell someone to "settle down"? Has it worked? In my experience, you can't make someone be calm. In fact, the efforts usually have the opposite effect.
Have you ever tried to impose peace? Can it be done? A temporary calm may be achieved, but not peace.
Daily life is full of distractions. Entertainment, obligations, noise--they all demand our attention and move us away from peace.
So how can we achieve inner peace? Don't buy. Don't watch. Don't compete.
Just submit. Just be.
Have you ever tried to tell someone to "settle down"? Has it worked? In my experience, you can't make someone be calm. In fact, the efforts usually have the opposite effect.
Have you ever tried to impose peace? Can it be done? A temporary calm may be achieved, but not peace.
Daily life is full of distractions. Entertainment, obligations, noise--they all demand our attention and move us away from peace.
So how can we achieve inner peace? Don't buy. Don't watch. Don't compete.
Just submit. Just be.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
The Gift of Peace
When I was 13, I was confirmed into the Lutheran church. My classmates and I thoroughly studied the Lutheran catechism, memorizing parts of it--especially the Apostle's Creed and the Nicene Creed, along with Martin Luther's commentary on these documents.
Before Confirmation Day, each member of the class met privately with the pastor. I don't remember my conversation with him, though it was relaxed. (The year was 1970 and the pastor was fired soon after for giving sermons opposing the Vietnam War.)
During the Confirmation Service, the pastor gave each of us a Bible verse. A few of my classmates received "For God so loved the world. . .," the best known verse in the New Testament. The verse assigned to me was one I had never heard:
"Peace I leave with you. My peace I give unto you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." John 14:27
I wondered why the pastor gave me a fairly obscure verse I didn't really understand. In the following years, I often thought of that verse. Gradually I reached a level of comprehension.
Peace I leave with you. What a fantastic gift.
Before Confirmation Day, each member of the class met privately with the pastor. I don't remember my conversation with him, though it was relaxed. (The year was 1970 and the pastor was fired soon after for giving sermons opposing the Vietnam War.)
During the Confirmation Service, the pastor gave each of us a Bible verse. A few of my classmates received "For God so loved the world. . .," the best known verse in the New Testament. The verse assigned to me was one I had never heard:
"Peace I leave with you. My peace I give unto you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid." John 14:27
I wondered why the pastor gave me a fairly obscure verse I didn't really understand. In the following years, I often thought of that verse. Gradually I reached a level of comprehension.
Peace I leave with you. What a fantastic gift.
Monday, July 09, 2007
Peace Be Upon You
I'm back. It's been a productive month. Our new home is settled and I'm ready to carry on.
I plan to try something new. Each week I will choose a theme, and discuss this theme from different perspectives. You're very welcome to join in.
The first theme is, of course, peace.
--------------------------------------------------
"Assalaamu alaikum." This is the greeting among Muslims. No matter what the native language, every Muslim understands this phrase.
We hope for peace. Inner peace, more than anything. We try to control our tempers and be peaceful in difficult times. We look forward to and hope for an afterlife of peace. Everything we do--praying, fasting, generosity--is meant to develop a sense of peace in the individual. When one person is peaceful, this can spread to the family, the community, and so on.
Peace is a belittled word sometimes. Nearly everyone wants it, but most say it's impossible.
Is it?
I plan to try something new. Each week I will choose a theme, and discuss this theme from different perspectives. You're very welcome to join in.
The first theme is, of course, peace.
--------------------------------------------------
"Assalaamu alaikum." This is the greeting among Muslims. No matter what the native language, every Muslim understands this phrase.
We hope for peace. Inner peace, more than anything. We try to control our tempers and be peaceful in difficult times. We look forward to and hope for an afterlife of peace. Everything we do--praying, fasting, generosity--is meant to develop a sense of peace in the individual. When one person is peaceful, this can spread to the family, the community, and so on.
Peace is a belittled word sometimes. Nearly everyone wants it, but most say it's impossible.
Is it?
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