Family Peace

Peace in the family is always a good place to start. As the mother of six, I strongly believe that the home, more than any other influence, shapes the child. Not to say that my kids haven't been affected by other sources. They have. Kids are.

Islam has strict guidelines for family living. One of the strangest, for this day and age, is the strong emphasis put upon obedience to parents. In many Muslim families, the parents dictate what their children will study in college and even whom they will marry (though, in strict Islamic teaching, the parent cannot force a son or daughter to marry).

My boys feel conflicted sometimes on this point. They've been raised in a country where children make their own choices, sometimes even as early as 14 or 16. But they follow a religion which dictates obedience. So far, they've been able to peacefully resolve every conflict between these two very different cultures.

Not only must children obey their parents, but wives must obey their husbands. Most Americans will scream at this concept. When I first heard it, as a new Muslim, I was taken aback. But it makes sense. In any setting, someone must be in charge. Women--mothers--have so many obligations. There are times, such as in late pregnancy and after childbirth, when we're nearly incapitated. (Forget about all those stories of women giving birth in the fields. I think they must be fairy tales.) And the way I explain it to my grown sons, tongue firmly in cheek, is that women already do so much work so the men have to do something! For the record, my husband has never been a dictator. A good Muslim husband respects his wife, he doesn't enslave her.

In a nutshell, that's what Islam says about the family. A few simple rules which provide guidelines and structure. For the rest of this week I'll be looking at different aspects of the modern American family.

BTW, do you know what your children are doing?