What in the world is an Islamo-fascist?

A couple of years ago, I discovered that I'm an Islamic fundamentalist. I didn't mean to be one, but the fact is that I was doing it before it became taboo. From what I can deduce, an Islamic fundamentalist is a Muslim who prays five times every day and, for a woman, wears a scarf. In other words, someone who strictly follows the religion--or at least tries to. I didn't even want to be a fundamentalist. It just sort of sneaked up on me.

Today I heard the guy in the white house talk about defeating the "Islamo-fascists." I wish someone had stood up and said, "What, exactly, is an 'Islamo-fascist'?" A Muslim who has read Mein Kampf? (I bought a copy once, but never got around to reading it.)

I still don't understand that term. It makes about as much sense as saying that the U.S. had to invade Iraq in order to liberate the people--from their homes, their family members, their lives. Or saying that we need to "impose democracy" on the poor unfortunate people of the world. If "democracy" means "the people rule," then how could one possibly impose it? And if the majority of the people choose to have an Islamic government, is that democracy or Islam0-fascism? If the majority of people are Muslims, and actually want an Islamic government, then how should they go about it? Obviously, the elections in Iraq, Palestine and, several years ago, Algeria which called for Islamic governments were flawed. Weren't they? That's what we're led to believe.

(But, of course, the elections putting George W. Bush in the White House were completely democratic. Right?)

I caught another strange statement in the strange press conference of the strangest president ever to "bless" this land. He said that the insurgents were spreading propaganda through death and destruction--if that's not an exact quote, it is very close. I have studied ways of spreading propaganda, and I cannot see how one could do it through death and destruction. In fact, wouldn't killing the audience interfere with the process? You can spread other things through death and destruction--tyranny, oppression, fervent prayers that you die slowly and painfully. But I cannot understand how one could spread propaganda through those means.

It is a shame that the Muslims of the world don't wish to be free. No, we are happy to be ruled over by oppressive regimes--put in power by the United States--and play out our simple lives. We don't want the right to be heard. The right to practice our religion. We are content to be imprisoned on a whim and beaten for speaking the truth. We are a very sorry lot.

All Muslims of the world should raise our hands in du'a for the blessings brought to us by George W. Bush. He has opened our eyes to possibilities we could never imagine. The right to sell and consume alcohol. The right to revive the drug trade in Afghanistan. The right of women to expose our bodies to ogling men. The right to embrace Christiantiy which, by the way, does not condone alcoholism, drug trade or the sexploitation of women.

The problem with George W. Bush is that he is 1400 years too late. Muslims have had freedom and democracy since the time of the Prophet (S). Muhammad suffered oppresion and abuse, even at the hands of his own relatives, because he opposed injustice. He established equality for women, the right to speak out on public matters and freedom of religion for all--just ask the Jews of Madinah.

Mr. Bush, you say you are trying to save us from ourselves. But we do not require your services. The position has already been filled. Thank you very much for your kind offer. Now will you please go away.