Reflections of a former WASP

I used to be a white Anglo-Saxon Protestant. A member of the most powerful group in the United States. Entitled to all privileges. Never exposed to discrimination (well, except that shown to women in this country). At the top of the heap.

When I became a Muslim and began to wear a scarf, my status changed slightly. In the beginning, I had the occasional drive-by insult (Go home, Camel Jockey). On occasion, I have encountered people who believe that the headscarf squeezes out the brain (very slowly, Do you speak English? Do you need help?). Throughout the 90s, every time there was a Muslim-related conflict, I noticed a slightly cooler environment (sometimes accompanied by a curse word and/or the finger). Still, overall, I felt entitled. I was still a white Anglo-Saxon, one of God's chosen people--no, I didn't believe that, but that's the way I expected to be treated. And overall, I was not disappointed.

Then came 9/11. The watershed for modern American society. Overnight I became a minority. And I finally got it.

When white people talk to black people about discrimination, they are always thinking, You wouldn't have to be discriminated against if you only tried harder. You just need to fit in. Stop wearing those baggy pants and listening to that loud rap. Speak English, for God's sake. Get a job. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Why, my grandfather came to this country with only a dollar to his name and he built a multi-million dollar empire. All you need to do is try.

That's the understanding. Just try, and doors will open. People will step aside and recognize your talents.

I believed that too, on some level, until 9/11. Then I felt true racism. I became "the other." Does she have a bomb hidden under her scarf? Is she part of a sleeper cell? Why doesn't she go back where she came from? (I came from St. Louis, in case anyone is interested.)

Not only me, but "my people." In the first weeks after 9/11, hundreds of men were rounded up and imprisoned without charges. A large number were deported without trial. Still, four and one-half years later, Muslim charities are shut down and mosques are vandalized.

I'm still white--that will never change. But in the last four and one-half years I have seen the uglier face of America--the face of hate and fear.

For what it's worth, now I understand.