Manners

I wrote a little on this topic earlier, and I just can't shake it.

I turned on the radio yesterday and heard commentary on George Will's recent column about the decline in manners. I disagree politically with George Will, but I admire his intellect. And on the manner of matters, we are definitely in agreement.

Except that it's not a product of the welfare state, as he asserted at one point. I believe it's a product of "self-esteeem."

Parents and teachers worry about how the little ones will be able to build strong self-esteem. Consequently, punishment is discouraged and children are praised for the slightest thing. That is the entitlement we face. And after a while, stickers and certificates aren't enough. The prizes have to be bigger, better. Otherwise our poor little darlings will be unhappy. And we simply cannot have that.

So far I have raised three kids to the point of high school graduation. All three of them have high self-esteem. They are able to go into new situations, meet new people, and handle themselves well. They are also able to open doors, say please and thank you, and consider the feelings of others. They didn't get that way by being constantly praised and coddled. They became the men they are through high expectations and hard work. Every one of my boys can cook and bake. They can sew and wash and iron their own clothes. All three have worked long hours to earn their spending money. One can take a computer apart and put it back together. He also knows how to speak and travel his way through Europe. Another is certified both as a photo technician and a forklift operator. He is also pursuing his goal of producing Islamic comic books. The third has served popcorn at a movie theatre and risen at four a.m. to bake muffins. A week ago we sent him to study in Malaysia, and he successfully traveled halfway around the world on his own.

I know that all of my sons will succeed in their pursuits, insha Allah, because they are both confident and polite. And they didn't get their self-esteem from meaningless pats on the back.

They earned it.