Of course!

Only America knows how to conduct democracy, of course. We were the first democratic nation, weren't we? The foundation of democracy. Well, after Greece, of course.

Only America has the right to tell other nations what to do. If not for us, Wisconsin would be full of Germans. Not those of German descent, but actual sauerkraut-eating, leiderhosen-wearing fascist Germans. Who spoke German instead of English--like my grandmother did when she was a girl. I mean. . .Of course we had to fight.

Only America can serve as the moral leader of the world. If you don't count Playboy. And drive-by shootings. And mass consumption of alcohol. And deaths due to drunk driving. We are a Christian nation, of course, and they had better listen to us. Or else.

And don't listen to all those pinko liberals who try to tell you this nation is off course. They should all be taken out and shot.